


Concentric

by Loz



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Post 2.12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-25
Updated: 2012-08-25
Packaged: 2017-11-12 20:56:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loz/pseuds/Loz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His outer layer is care-worn and graying around the edges, intricately detailed paintwork flaking off, bit by bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Concentric

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired [by a comment made](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeI3Wg0H4SI) by Tim Minchin during his comedy show with the Heritage Orchestra. It gave me such a vivid mental image, I found myself thinking about it in relation to Stiles.

Sometimes Stiles feels like his true self is a Matryoshka doll. His outer layer is care-worn and graying around the edges, intricately detailed paintwork flaking off, bit by bit. He’s been handed down through generations, some more loving than others. He’s gotten battered and bruised, knocked against furniture. And no one knows there’s a seam, there. No one’s figured out that if you gave him a twist he’d open up and inside reveal another painstaking pattern of courage, guilt, heartache and a driving need to do right. Another level just under that, never exposed to the night air or golden sun. Another, slightly different in color and design. That smallest core carved out of a single block of wood; impenetrable. 

He wants to be able to reassure Scott he’ll be all right. That, sure, his outer layer is close to cracking, but that doesn’t mean the end of anything. It’s been through too much lately, has had to withstand the fury and over excitement of a toddler called Fate that has no concept of how valuable it is. But even if his outer layer shatters, he’ll make it through. He might be diminished, but he’ll still be whole. 

He doesn’t think Scott’s in the right frame of mind to put mental processing power into understanding his extended metaphor, so he doesn’t use these words. He honestly doesn’t think Scott would ever get what he means even if he didn’t have his low grades and relationship trouble over which to be concerned. Scott never understood _Shrek_ ’s onion analogy either.

He doesn’t lie and say he’s fine. He admits that he’s shaken, rattled. Can’t explain that being rattled isn’t necessarily a terrible thing, just means his inner layers are still there, ready for when they’re needed, nesting in wait. Scott’s been his best friend forever. Even if he couldn’t hear his heartbeat, he’d know that Stiles was lying if he tried to pass off the recent beating by Gerard --- the psychological as much as the physical --- as nothing to worry about. Maybe they should all be worried about the consequences of Grandpappy Argent and his hypocritically sociopathic tendencies. Perhaps Stiles can’t stop worrying.

But he wants to reassure Scott, so Stiles applies some lacquer over his outer Matryoshka; a quick fix that is merely cosmetic. In literal terms instead of figurative, Stiles returns to the status quo. He swoons over Lydia, though his optimism is fake and they all know it --- Stiles accepts that Lydia’s never going to love him, and he thinks he couldn’t withstand her love at any rate. It would be too much of a liability, on top of all those he already contends with. He forces his dad to eat well and exercise. He snarks and snipes with affectionate sarcasm. Baits Derek and his pack and only regrets it a little. Is terrified of Peter and all he chooses to be. Adamantly doesn’t get jealous of Isaac and Scott’s friendship. He takes too much Adderall and he stays up all night. And it’s normal, for a while. It’s safe. He looks okay, to the people staring at him sitting on the shelf. The hairline cracks are deftly concealed. His seam is better hidden. He doesn’t think it can last for long.

So, sometimes Stiles feels like his true self is a Matryoshka doll. He takes comfort in the thought that there’s more to him than a shallow exterior. That there are secrets lurking beneath his surface. That it will take a hell of a lot to break him completely. 

And, yeah, Stiles thinks that maybe he’ll be losing part of himself when he has to cast off his defensive shell. That each layer within is predominantly one trait over the others. That beneath this veneer of awkward yet remarkably astute teenager is a protective and damaged young man. That beneath that is a disillusioned soldier. Within again a ruthless warrior. He’s nothing but love and fury deep down, in his solid small foundation. In his weaker moments, all he can think about is survival. He decides it doesn’t matter if he forgets those little parts of who he would have been, no longer has surface area to spare for those lines, curls and brushstrokes that would comprise his personality. The most important thing is that he’d still exist. In one form if not the others.


End file.
